HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's a lot of ways you can do it. Because I feel like that's my dream, is that we get like Hellman's Mayonnaise. Like that's what I want.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I want one big sponsor.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
But what would that sponsor be if it was... Are we on yet? Okay. Hi, everybody.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We'll start when we start. It's fine, it's fine. We're just doing levels and stuff like that. But don't worry, it's off the record.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
What is the sponsor of du jour for you guys? If you were like we got the call that Hellman's Mayonnaise wants to sponsor Last Podcast.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's the one.
ED LARSON
See I'm more Boar's Head.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Boar's Head would be sweet.
ED LARSON
Boar's Head would be great.
MARCUS PARKS
And I'm Miracle Whip.
ED LARSON
Publix.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
See, that's divisive. Miracle Whip's already divisive.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Did you say Publix?
ED LARSON
Yeah, Publix.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Publix grocery store? Incredible.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I once left a script in a grocery cart at a Publix, like a locked secret script. Because I was just reading it, they'd printed it for me to read as I was prepping to go do this thing. And I was in Atlanta. And those things are given to you under threat of death.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Like you do not lose this.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I'm shopping at a Publix and I really liked their deli section.
ED LARSON
Unbelievable.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The fried chicken like Friday night meal.
ED LARSON
Fried chicken's so good. Oh Jesus.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes, yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
They have great sides. And I was all excited about that. And I got a slice of like rainbow cake from the bakery.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I treated myself to some some yummy things I was gonna take back to my hotel. And I get back to the hotel and I lay out this really luxurious spread of grocery store fried chicken and mac and cheese and probably get in my underwear, flip open the laptop, ready for a night of documentaries. And then all of a sudden I go where's my script? I need to... Oh my god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And it's like a top secret, it's like like one of those fucking-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I ran like chariots of freaking fire. I ran, I'll never forget the dread I'm my body, being like someone's gonna... Because it has my name all over it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And it's got very crucial plot details of things that would be like a big, big, big, big, big problem for me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. People would be mad. Because people talk about that, like people finding scripts in trash cans and shit. They pull it out and then all of a sudden it's all over the internet.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. Like a cachet of Polaroids that I just happened to leave around.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Man, you gotta bring them-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I didn't understand.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
How else do you sleep?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
ED LARSON
If you would have left the script at Winn-Dixie you'd have nothing to worry about because they can't read.
MARCUS PARKS
Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks, I'm here with Henry Zebrowski, Ed Larson-
ED LARSON
Hello!
MARCUS PARKS
And Henry, would you like to introduce today's guest?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Now we have what I'd say, I actually said this the other day, the modern Lon Chaney. The genre Lord Prince.
ED LARSON
I thought you said the modern Dick Cheney.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's for private. Again, he had a lot of good ideas and he actually thought about the country. But yeah, that's a good way to start.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That just gave me a guest boner. The fact that you introduced me as our Lon Chaney. That is my hero.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is David Dastmalchian. This is David Dastmalchian.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh hi. Hi, guys.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm so excited.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Ugh. I'm so excited every time I think about the fact that we're friends now because having been so obsessed with the way that you guys have done what you've done and loved the show for so long and then the fact that it was Eve's like passion and she kept being like Dave, you have to get into Last Podcast. And I was like I don't, when I'm working or when I'm writing I put on music, I don't listen to podcasts, I'm not really into the podcasting thing. Years ago. And she's just like no, Dave, this is for you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And she and her best friend Karen were just like every time. And then I finally was like you know what? Fine, forget it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fine, yeah, I'll do it.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I'll listen to these chuckle heads. Yeah. And now I'm here, I'm so excited and thank you for that introduction. It means a lot. I really appreciate it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No dude, I mean honestly going back through all of your work, you're here technically to promote your new film, Late Night with the Devil, which is going to be very, very exciting for the people that are at home.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thank you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because we are the people who listen to our show.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And I love the mill. I made it halfway through and then I shut it off because I was like I'm gonna see this in the theater, I'm going to pay money to go see this.
ED LARSON
It looks unbelievable.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That's like a great, great compliment. It's also I've never heard that before and it's you go like god... Because people will say like I watched your thing and it was so awesome. But to have someone say to you I was watching your thing and I stopped it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Because I can't do the laptop with the movies. It disappoints me.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I agree.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I want it either on the screen, because I have a big TV, humble brag.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because that's what I want, right. Actually I think I could have a bigger TV.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Do you measure each others?
MARCUS PARKS
I measured by eyesight.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Whose is bigger?
MARCUS PARKS
Mine's bigger.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He does have the biggest television.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I've been in your home.
MARCUS PARKS
Yes, you have.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Have I been to your home? I haven't been to your home.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I've been outside of your house.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So Marcus.
MARCUS PARKS
You've seen my TV.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I've been invited over to your house, I've been to parties in your home, I've seen your TV, I've seen your vinyl collection. Henry, it's begging for an invitation.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, you can come over. You come over.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You guys have been to my house numerous times.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Love it there.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You have the, again, for people who don't know-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Not a very big TV.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, no.
MARCUS PARKS
But you don't need one.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You don't. You live in a very cool, spooky house.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, my favorite thing about your house is your wall of like horror sound effects records.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
It's just amazing. You've got like A Musical Seance by Rosemary Brown which is one of my favorite records ever. It's this amazing compilation from this woman who said that she could channel the spirits of dead composers.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's awesome.
MARCUS PARKS
And she would write her own, she'd be like okay, this is what Beethoven wants me to write. And she would write something in the style of Beethoven. This is what Mozart wants me to write, and writes something. And it came with like a full booklet and everything. Yeah, A Musical Séance, that's when I was like I like this guy.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I grew up in Kansas and I was just so obsessed with all things horror once I got the bug. But then at our local Montgomery Ward, there was this vinyl record with a picture of Dracula on the cover and blood dripping down. And it said like the Monster Mash and sounds of Halloween or whatever. And I was like what is this? I begged and begged and begged and begged. And it was a pretty religious household where like Halloween was not celebrated.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I was the one decorating the front yard and pissing off my parents because I made such a big deal out of it. And my father finally relented which he rarely ever did. And he got me this record, I brought it home, I put it right on the record player, I started listening to it, and it scared me so, so bad that I was crying. And my mom was furious. My dad's like see, this is what happens! So then she had him take it back, get a refund. And they got me some bubblegum pop Halloween album of funny goofy songs.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(singing) It's a mummy time and Frankenstein is there!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I also love those, those are great.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, those are great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
But I eventually really regretted that. And now it's a lifetime obsession. I collect Halloween vinyl. And I'm so lucky I have the wife partner that I have in Eve that she would not only like proudly display her nerd ass husband's Halloween record collection but that she'd frame them and mount them so beautifully.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well I say that about Natalie, about how like if you weren't in for this whole package, I don't know what you're in here for.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a head scratcher sometimes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. It is goth turtles all the way down as soon as you get into this home.
MARCUS PARKS
I love those records, you just put them on and it's just (creaking).
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(groaning)
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's so many variations and hard to find ones. And a lot of the actors that I love-
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, one shock that's just a bunch of screaming.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. The actors that I love did a lot of cool shit on the side. Or these great recording studios, it would come that time of year, it was a money thing that they could be like oh we're gonna make a cool spooky record. Like oh my god, Boris Karloff speaks, Peter Lorry had his own. There was so many great ones.
ED LARSON
Yeah, how have you not done this?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We gotta do this.
ED LARSON
You need a spooky album.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You heard it here first. All right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Like we need to do this.
MARCUS PARKS
I'll produce it. I'll be in on this.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I would love to because it's like a couple of scary stories-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(creaking)
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And and then just sound effects.
ED LARSON
Yeah, Marcus loves weird noises.
MARCUS PARKS
I do, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's most of what he listens to.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
ED LARSON
What's the spookiest noise?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The spookiest sound that a person can hear?
ED LARSON
Yeah, yeah. As a spooky sound collector.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I think it is... There's this one album that really messed me up as a kid and it was on that same record that I told you guys about. I think it was the moment that it turned for me. And it was a werewolf eating an infant.
ED LARSON
Whoa.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Awesome!
MARCUS PARKS
Dude, I think I heard that.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, it's so messed up that they would put that on. And you hear the baby crying and you hear the crunching of the bones and the flesh. And I was just like I'm not supposed to be... It's like Werner Herzog during Grizzly Man, it's like (German accent) this is not something that I am supposed to be hearing.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(German accent) This record, this record at this moment seems to be destroyed.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
(German accent) The sound of Timothy Treadwell is like what I was hearing. And it really messed me up, man.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The suffering of children.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
All right. I think I may have heard that at one point in my childhood.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Well I'll play it for you because I own it.
MARCUS PARKS
Honestly it'd be wonderful.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Just makes me hungry.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And during the Halloween season it's fun because every night I try to put on a different record with the kids and they love it and we'll carve pumpkins or just listen to the old records. It's great.
MARCUS PARKS
That's great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's so wholesome.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You know me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So you came out the chasm spooky.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. I did. I did. I think I came out the chasm spooky and like inclined towards whatever reasons why. Like it was always Halloween, it was always even the Monsters on Scooby Doo. It was any time there was a Halloween episode of anything, I was just like that was the thing I loved the most and wanted. But that was compounded by being raised in a very religious household, it was very conservative community where Halloween and anything to do with horror, rock and roll was considered opening yourself up to the dark side. And of course I'm of a spirit that when you lock a door, the first thing I'm gonna do is look for the picks to grit in there. And then for me, a big, big, big impact was after schools, rushing home to be watching cartoons. And they would have these stingers on Fox 41 in Kansas City in the 80s, like at the end of an episode of Transformers, it would be like (spooky voice) and tune in Friday night for Crematia Mortem's Friday Nightmare at 10 o'clock or 10:30. And so I started like sneaking down and just getting lost in the world of the horror host Crematia Mortem who then shows me all the Hammer, speaking of Hammer films.
MARCUS PARKS
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Like all the Hammer stuff and Universal stuff and RKO things and all the weird obscure B and Z movies that I was just like (gasp).
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And it was that obsession that got you for Late Night with the Devil, right?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because the movie, and this is not a joke, this is not a mean thing, it's essentially a hyper serious Repossessed.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sure. Exactly. A very serious Repossessed.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Incredible.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Which I love.
MARCUS PARKS
I love Repossessed.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because you built a host character, like a talk show host character which is super funny and it feels lived in.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thanks.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But it kind of came from this kind of education as a kid with horror hosts.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sure, sure, sure. So the horror host thing actually in a more direct way, it's what got me the job because after my mom passed, I did a lot of reflecting upon like oh why have I always been so obsessed with horror? I think I kind of drove my mom crazy. But we did bond a few times. Like I remember once watching Psycho with her, she let me watch that and like holding my hand when I was a kid because I got scared. And then I was thinking about that maternal or paternal or whatever figure, that Karen that takes you safely across the river who was the horror host, which for me was Crematia. And she was the first a lot of things for me, like first crush, first impression of this like sexuality that I was really turned on by, this first safe person that would make dumb jokes about whatever we were watching that night or whatever I was watching, it didn't matter. She was the safe person for that. So I wrote this article.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh, for Fangoria.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
For Fangoria. And Phil Nobile Jr, who is the editor there, had said if you ever want to write something, let me know. And I was like I feel like I've got an article that could be interesting. And I told him my pitch and he was like go for it. So I wrote this article about horror hosts and that relationship that they can have with us. And then the guys, Colin and Cameron Cairns, who live in Australia and are just horror nerd cinemaphiles, incredible, really talented, wonderful guys. They read Fangoria and they read that article and they were like that's the guy we want. Which is weird because when you who are listening see this movie-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
See the film.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You're going to say who in the fuck thought Dave Dastmalchian for this role? Because I know I fit into a certain target I guess when you think about the kinds of roles maybe that I normally approach or what people think of me as. I as a casting director, producer would never have thought in looking at the script, you know who we gotta get? Let's get that Dastmalchian guy on the phone.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We gotta get him. Is it an insult?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He's charming.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Is it insulting because they think you're creepy?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I'm creepy.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I have embraced what I have and I am grateful for it. The way that I like to, I hope this doesn't sound like self whatever, it sounds really gross to compare yourself to people who are legends. But I guess I could say I aspire to heroes like Chris Lee and Vincent Price and Lon Chaney, the ultimate hero to me because he just disappeared into the roles and genre. I just have no... My nose will never be lifted to anything in any space that's good storytelling. I would much rather do an incredibly well executed genre piece than a mediocre melodrama.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You know what I mean?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
When you're eventually in the Jerry Lee Lewis biopic.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That's right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Or the Tiny Tim biopic.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Float that out there.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
There we go. I just put that out in the universe.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Float that fucking out there.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Let's make that happen, guys.
MARCUS PARKS
You know about his haunting, right?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I don't.
MARCUS PARKS
You know how he died.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yes, yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Well he didn't actually die... Because the legend is that tiny Tim died during the performance on stage.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Wasn't it at a retirement home?
MARCUS PARKS
It was at some sort of like Masonic lodge or something like that.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sure, yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Where it was a bunch of like ladies that wanted to do something nice, booked him.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Of course.
MARCUS PARKS
The problem was that actually that not enough people showed up. So the show got canceled. And so he was just there in this Masonic lodge and famously died there. And to this day he still, you can still hear his voice.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
(singing) Tiptoe through the tulips. There's the sound. There's the scariest sound.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, the sound of Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips. But yeah, supposedly he haunts the Masonic lodge where he died.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Well if I were to get the honor of playing Tiny Tim someday... Once I was approached for a biopic, this is a true story. I'll send you guys the email that I got and you can post it. It was to play Michael Jackson.
ED LARSON
What? Amazing!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The problem is like you just see all the calls from your people.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And you're trying to sit here and figure out, be like is this what I want to do? So I guess I'm post Pepsi ad Michael. Is that what I am? I'm heal the world, Michael?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, when you get emails like that, can you ask like curiosity follow up questions? Not knowing that you're not gonna do it.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Literally all I said was let's do this. And we are the world. And then I said let me know. And I never heard back from. It was a guy across the world somewhere named Leanne Landry, I think was his name. I don't remember but I remember getting that email and being so touched. It was probably a DM, I don't even know if it was an email. But it was like a very formal approach to like this is really something that we feel strongly that you would do well. But I'm honored, I love the idea. I mean I come from a theater background and again, I'm raised watching Lon Chaney and other actors that can quote unquote "transform", whatever that means. Because you're still bringing a lot of yourself and who you are as a person into each role that you're playing.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And you're trying to bring all of your history and your dynamics physically and vocally. But I love this notion, this idea that you could be watching something and be like that looks like that guy that was the crazy guy in The Dark Knight, or that looks like that guy that was on the Ant- Man movies. That can't be that guy because that's his voice or the way he laughs or the thing. All that is such a challenge that I love so much. So when Late Night with the Devil, when these guys, they were working with Steven Schneider and Roy Lee who owns Spooky Pictures. And Roy Lee is this incredible longtime friend of mine who just sent me the script and their pitch deck and he said hey, these guys would like for you to be in their film. And I thought just as I heard the logline, I was again going back to like what about this guy, Dave Dastmalchian, that we know and love makes you think he's the guy to be a late night talk show host? Because late night talk show hosts are charming and they're fun. You guys are talk show hosts.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, in a way.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And you're charming and you're funny and you're sweet. But luckily you're mostly off camera.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes. That's the idea.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
No, I think I just was baffled by it. And as soon as I started reading the script and looking at their materials, I was hooked. I was like I gotta do this. And so then I just dove into, on a nightly basis, watching hours of what I could scrap up on YouTube from Don Lane episodes to Carson monologues and Letterman monologues.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And trying to manufacture this notion of like a guy who could do that. It's very weird.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because it's an entire separate skill set of performance.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Totally.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is another type of performer. Because as a late night talk show host, you have to be broad, let people in, you're going into people's living room each night. So it's supposed to kind of feel like somebody you trust who's also like improv... Like he's fun in the moment. But you do a great job.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thank you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
One of my favorite pieces is the montage of the previous episodes of all the dumb shit that has happened in all the seasons. Yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Pies in the face.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah. I love all of that.
MARCUS PARKS
What is the logline? Like what's the concept behind this movie?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So Jack Delroy, who I'm playing, it's 1970s, like literally 40th in the ratings when Carson was like at number three. And his show is just on the chopping block and he's had the worst run you can imagine. His wife, his life partner, his soulmate passed away tragically of cancer. He's kind of maligned in the press as like the second rate and he's going to be canceled any day. And so...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I don't know what that's like.
ED LARSON
Canceled in the 70s is like a whole other thing.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, it's a different kind of canceling. Different kind of canceling. He's coming up on it's Halloween night, he knows that that call is coming any second. And so-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's sweeps week.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's sweeps week. And so he needs a win. He needs the ratings to just skyrocket and he throws everything he can possibly imagine at the stage that night and including some choices that are compromising to maybe his ethical compass and compromising to what we would deem as like maybe I guess ethical as opposed to moral. But like definitely some real questionable choices of what he's willing to put up there to try and get those eyeballs. And things go far more well than he could have ever imagined as far as trying to create a night of shock television.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And what is so wonderful about the way the script is constructed, and I hope people enjoy this as they fall into the mystery of it all, is under the immense pressure and the kind of fracturing of the nervous breakdown that he's having coupled with his alcoholism, his perception just of ultimate reality is starting to become untethered. And you're watching the show happen in real time. So it's a 90 minute movie.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because it's found footage.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's an episode.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. It's just like you're watching an episode of the show.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And so you've got good evening, night owls, and thanks again for being here! Wow, we had a big win this week with the Yankees, any fans in the house tonight? Yeah, that was great. And he does a whole thing like that. And then we get these quick blips during commercial break where it's like okay, we gotta get to what's going on. And then people are talking backstage and the energy is building and building and shit just goes bonkers, man.
MARCUS PARKS
Great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it's cool. I actually think that the character wasn't wrong. I think that's solid producing. And I actually would love to have an actual demon in here.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You know we're gonna do... Well you do. Hi.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(screaming)
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
We're gonna do an event in New York and I was trying to get a real exorcist in to come and be part of the...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Convince these two.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because I want to do a seance in here.
MARCUS PARKS
Nope.
ED LARSON
I don't want to do a seance.
MARCUS PARKS
I don't wanna do a séance.
ED LARSON
Do a seance somewhere else.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I want to go to the Mystic Museum down in Burbank.
ED LARSON
Yeah, do it there.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I wanna do a live séance.
ED LARSON
I think that's a great idea.
MARCUS PARKS
I work here every day.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
I don't want to have to deal with bullshit from ghosts.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hey man, they just have unfinished business and they need to be monetized on the podcast.
MARCUS PARKS
I have deadlines.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Before we became friends, one of my Halloween gatherings included a seance that was kind of breaking some of the rules of seance etiquette because it was a group of people around the table. But then there was like another 80 people watching from above and from the side. But it was just perfectly silent. The energy in the room was insane. It was a pendulum style. So there was a pendulum from the roof of the house that came all the way down to the table and when she began leading the event and the questions started, watching the way that it goes. And I'm sitting there being like there's no way that anybody's touching this because I'm here. And then at one point... And people were doing what you guys did, (whispering) you fucking pussies.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah! No, that's me, man. I want in!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
They were like don't do this, don't do this, this is a big mistake, big mistake. And I'm like oh come on, it can be, blah, blah, blah. So it's going and some question came up, I forget what it was. And we had candles way up high in like the window sills that you had to get like on a ladder to put up and one fell on somebody's shoulder. The screams, people ran out of the house. Some have never come back.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hell yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Eve also tried to buy, she found on eBay a supposedly cursed Ouija board. And that was the one where I did put my foot down a little bit. I was like I feel like if it's already been deemed cursed, like what does that mean? Why would we want to buy that?
ED LARSON
How about a haunted storage unit?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's like that, my favorite show as a kid which was Friday the 13th The Series where you've got that like locked vault where Uncle Jack kept all of the cursed items from his curiosity shop. That's what I want. I'll get a storage unit but it's in Glendale.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And then when I die, no one will know about and they're gonna do that, like, what's it called where they break in?
MARCUS PARKS
Storage Wars.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Storage Wars.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh my god. And then it ruins their lives. That's another movie, man. That is literally another film.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I love that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Haunted Storage Wars is amazing.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Haunted Storage Wars. It's the unscripted series that we didn't know we needed.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's incredible. I got good advice on how to handle cursed objects that I could give you off air. Because that's my goal, that's like one of the things I'd like to move towards is getting some. Because we're supposed to get some in the mail but it's at the PO box.
MARCUS PARKS
You would never be serious enough to do a seance. I know you. Because throughout the years, so many times Henry was always like I really want to make this episode like spooky and like creepy.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Serious.
MARCUS PARKS
And I write it to be like spooky and creepy and then he comes in with some silly voice.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But the difference is that-
ED LARSON
Ghosts need to laugh too.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But in a séance you can't fuck around.
MARCUS PARKS
(silly voice) Please, Eddie!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But you can't fuck around in a séance.
ED LARSON
But what if you get Jackie Gleason?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He wa very serious about aliens.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He was very serious about aliens.
MARCUS PARKS
He was.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. I feel like I could talk with him about that.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I'm reading something, I was gonna ask you guys, have you read 'American Cosmic' yet?
MARCUS PARKS
No.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh okay. I just got it recommended, I figured you guys might know about it. I just started and I really like it, speaking about aliens.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Have you read the '2083', Anders Breivik's manifesto yet?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
No.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can send that in an email.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thanks. I appreciate it.
MARCUS PARKS
The Declaration of Norwegian Independence.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Love that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Can I ask you? So this is the kind of basic, very late night conversation because when we had you for our goth mandate-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We couldn't talk about movies.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We couldn't talk about any of the shit because of the strike.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But I wanted to ask you like, first of all, just straight up what was the moment that you knew you could pay your bills being an actor? Like when did it happen?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I-
ED LARSON
Henry's waiting and he needs to know.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
How do I get in there? They keep telling me this is gonna be the one.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I go, it's gonna be a long story but you asked a question that I think needs a backstory to it. I go to Chicago from Kansas to study theater at DePaul Theatre School. I developed this raging addiction to opiates during college. So by the time I get out-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Rock and roll!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I am fucking just strung out and life sucks for a good couple of years. I finally get clean five years into that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Congrats man, good work.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thank you. 22 years this year. I decided to go, I get invited by a friend to do a play at Storefront Theater and a number of opportunities to do theater in Chicago that is free. So I was working as a telemarketer by day, I was doing, remember Time-Life Books?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I was a telemarketer for Time-Life Books.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's so funny.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And at night I was an usher in a movie theater, Webster Play Cinema in Chicago, back when they still had the unionized projectionists. So I would go and hang out with the union projectionists and smoke cigarettes and watch movies up in the booth. It was the best.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh that's great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I get back on stage and I got an opportunity, a casting director literally said this. He's like oh my god, I thought you died!
ED LARSON
Oh Jesus.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Casting directors are great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I was like still here. And he brings me in and I got a commercial. In 2006, it was when the transition happened for me, I got a commercial. I booked a commercial, it was a Singular Wireless commercial. It was my first time ever on a set like that. And it was me and my future father-in-law having a phone call where he says something like I'm looking forward to being your father-in-law and I say well thanks, Jim, Jimbo, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. And the call drops and then he's laughing but I hear silence. So I'm like oh sorry. That commercial was directed by the director of my favorite documentary. And so when I got that job, not only did I get paid a good, what do you get a couple grand to do a commercial? But Chris Smith who made American Movie, anyone who's listening that doesn't know American Movie-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We all love American Movie.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Coven. Coven, sounds like oven. It's gonna be called Co-ven. So Chris, that commercial was a huge success and I was able to transition into then doing theater full time, which was only paying like maybe 500 bucks a week.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And those are good, like good theaters. But the commercial paid. So it was like that was the moment when it went national and back in those days commercials paid a lot differently.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It led into 2007, casting director for The Dark Knight came to town and held a big casting call for all the creeps and weirdos. And he was casting the opening sequence with the bank heist with the clowns. And so that's what I was at a giant cattle call for. And his assistant, who was a lovely guy, saw me in the crowd. He goes you're in that dead Jimbo commercial! And I go yeah. And he goes we were just talking about that. And he goes hey, John, John Papsidera, legendary casting director. He goes this is that guy. And he's like,oh yeah, you're really funny. And he
kind of looks at my weird face and he's like are you ready for the scene? I was like yeah. And he goes come on. So he takes me in this room, I do this scene which is a dummy scene.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
But it's a guy being like oh this guy, whoever put me on this job, I heard he dresses up weird and he thinks he's gonna get this money, blah, blah, blah.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And he was like, it was a moment, man, that like all actors dream of, that lottery moment when the ball landed on the number that I called. Like it was my lifelong collecting comic books, dreaming of cinema, being such a fan and hoping and praying that someday I'd be able to go chase that dream. And he says to me you're really good. He's like this is really good. Do me a favor, go home tonight, take all this shit you're doing. It's great but you gotta put it here.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I'm pointing to my eyes for those who are listening. He says put it here. And that note made sense to me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because film acting is just taking all that energy and like-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a magnifying glass.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I'm coming from the stage.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So then I-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh no, I came from years of being like great, a little smaller.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went home and I did that. I tried to figure out what that meant. The shaking of the leg and the twitch with the thing and all this, how do I put that in my eyes? Came back the next day, just me and there's Christopher Nolan sitting in a small room and he's got a little handheld camcorder and that happened. And it wasn't all like wine and roses-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Because I was not making much money, I didn't have a good rate, I was just making scale and occasionally getting jobs. So there was lots of unemployment collection and just going on hundreds of auditions. But that was the last time I had like a day job. And I transitioned into then being a full time actor. Although I would say years like 2010, 2011, 2012, there was years that I made $27,000 one year, $33,000 one year.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Stocks just go up and down.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
ED LARSON
Crazy.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it's weird.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's wild.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But when you do stuff like, so do you feel like it's a thing of fate almost that you ended up as like a genre actor?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yes. I feel like it's a confluence of a lot of things. Do we gravitate towards the stuff that razzes our berries? Certainly. Do we move towards energetically and passionately the things that really inspire us? Were there times when I probably wasn't able to connect with material that I was auditioning for that wasn't stuff that spoke to me in a way that I could connect to stuff that did speak to me? And maybe a lifetime of studying and reading comic books and watching horror and sci-fi movies helped me understand that for me personally, the approach to genre was no different than it would be if I was doing Tennessee Williams or Shakespeare.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I would just give 100% in a way that you could get lost in the thing. So I think... But the fate, there's that there's that thing. Like I just know so many actors and I'm not being humble, it's just I know so many actors who just are more versatile, more can repeat emotional states of being more, have the capacity to do work that is far superior than my own.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sure.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So why did I happen to be at that place on that day? Why did that all stuff come together? Who fucking knows, man?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a total head scratcher. I just try to be...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well you were ready for the moment.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Definitely was ready for the moment. I mean if there's a character that I would be like okay, yeah, give me five, I can do this. If you said like he's Joker's henchman, I'm gonna do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, boss! That's in my head. Like shyeah, let's get the Bat, boss, shyeah! That's my version.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Did you love the show? Like the thought that each villain, his entire team had the matching outfits.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shyeah, boss, let's take the Bat down. But did you have any face time with Heath Ledger?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh yeah, a lot in fact. I mean I worked on The Dark Knight, I did three or four days in Chicago, there's the big parade sequence.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That was a huge sequence, I mean there's thousands of extras and tons of action. My first day, I did, uh, like three or four days in Chicago. There's the big parade sequence.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That was a huge sequence. I mean there's thousands of extras and tons of actors. My first day on a film set, you gotta understand this, you guys. My first day on a film set. I have been told that I... They also gave dummy sides for the actual production. So I went to an office, signed away whatever, got these sides that said there he is, let's get him. I thought I was a driver in a truck. So I practiced for a week before, every time I get my car being like-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Let's get him! There he is, let's get him. Like that was the lines that I was ready to do. I show up, do my fitting the night before shooting. And I'm in a cop uniform with a big bullet hole in the leg and I was like why am I in a police uniform? And they're like he's very secretive, you'll see.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
How do I prepare though?!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I go to work, on the day of work and one of the producers comes to my trailer, gives me the sides for the day, and he says so this is actually the scene we're doing, you have been with the Joker pretending to be policemen and then you're shooting at the mayor, trying to kill the mayor. And you get shot in the leg and then you're going to be kidnapped. The first thing we shot was me in the back of the ambulance with Harvey Dent, Aaron Eckhart. And I looked at the scene and he's asking me questions. And all it says about the thug is like an intimidating thug.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The thug smirks. And then he asked me another question. And the way it was on the page felt like the thug had the upper hand in like an intimidation way.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And as you said, like my therapist often says to me, when the student is ready, the teacher arrives. When the moment is ready, I was ready for this thing because I'm looking at that going I'm not more intimidating. Aaron Eckhart's like that big square jaw, he's muscly. Like he could totally intimidate the crap out of me. What's more intimidating? Me trying to do it tough face smirk. What if I just giggled when somebody says like...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I said and what if I can't formulate the thoughts that I'm trying to say? What if interior is actually I'd love to help, I'd love to be of service here. But the only thing that's gonna come out of my mouth is just giggles because I've got some kind of condition that's almost like someone put a filter over my voice box. And how terrifying would that be?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because you're working for the Joker.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So that has to be part of the interview process of working for the Joker is that you would have to be-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
You'd have to have a good giggle.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You have to be a creepy guy. You have to be fairly intimidating without necessarily, because he's not a big guy. The Joker is like, he's asymmetrical.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
God. I mean, yeah. So that's what I did and luckily he liked it and then it just went from there. And I was grateful-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But was Heath in character the entire time?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Heath was no in character. he was so sweet.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Okay, great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I went in hair and makeup my first day on a film set, I walk into hair and makeup, Heath Ledger is at the far end, he's playing... I don't know if they were taking turns DJing or what but he was playing this really cool music which I didn't know and I'm a big music guy. So I was fascinated by like who is this that he's listening to? Next to him is Christian Bale, next to him is Gary Oldman.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can feel the vomit like rising to my throat.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Next to him is Aaron Eckhart. Then me, then Maggie Gyllenhaal, and then Néstor Carbonell.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Damn.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
All in this long ass hair and makeup trailer. Peter Robb-King is overseeing and coming and doing touches up. Peter Robb-King is the legendary makeup designer and artist who did Legend and Alien and the Temple of Doom and all these movies. And I mean Heath totally like welcome, shakes my hand, very nice. Chris, everybody was so cool. But with Heath in particular because we had more time together. I haven't held a gun since I was a kid, I always really didn't like guns, I grew up around guns where I lived as a kid but they never were my thing. But I'm having to like do this rifle work and I felt intimidated and nervous that I had to do all this stuff. And he took all this time to show me like what he had learned about how to make stuff look cool when you're working with the guns. We talked about music. I was able to say have you gotten to see any cool shows? And I think he was sneaking around and going to some of the cooler venues, probably under a cap and whatever sunglasses.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And the band he was listening to, this was 2007, I'd never heard of Animal Collective who I now love.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah!
ED LARSON
Animal Collective, yeah!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And he turned me onto Animal Collective and Panda Bear. And we talked about, he was just talking about his kid and he asked if I had any and I said oh man, I don't think I could do that. He said some really nice stuff to me. Like you'll always think that and then I feel like you'd actually be pretty good at it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is incredible.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I think when it happens, it would be.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is nice.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And here's the thing about an actor like Heath Ledger that I want to be around people like that every time I go to work. Because you got two schools of thought, got one actor here on set who is pacing around, who is taking a really deep breath and jumping up and down and getting in character and yelling at people.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm the Batman!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. Bale was actually-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You're the Batman now, Christian! Don't let them tell you different!
ED LARSON
He used to come to work by grappling hook.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
No, Bale was super chill actually, he wasn't like that. But I've been around those actors, do you know what I mean?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I've been around those guys who are just-
MARCUS PARKS
Your Jeremy Strongs of the world.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh my god. It's exhausting-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they're a pain in the butt.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's all of the energy is sucked into them and their needs and their process. And you've got gaffers trying to work on some light shit and these guys, I'm ready! It's now! I'm in my zone!
MARCUS PARKS
I'm ready to fuck!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
It's hard!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So Heath is talking to me about music and bands and like his voice, his dialect is Australian dialect and he's talking. And then they're like oh Heath, we're ready. And then he's like oh, I gotta go. And he's like just turning a little knob in his brain, his little masterful genius brain of being that caliber of an artist that he could then go and become this thing, this entity, this thing that transcended, just like a movie villain. It wasn't just, it embodied something that just tapped into everybody that saw that fricking movie. It did something to all of us. And I was just watching in awe and then I thought about it because I remember when he got, oh this is the best moment I had with him actually. I remember when I heard that he got cast in the role and I honestly was like what?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well we all were.
MARCUS PARKS
We all were, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I said to him, I think this is why he liked me. The first thing I said, we meet, he's very nice, very soft spoken. He's not outgoing by any means but he was definitely warm and kind. And I said how's it going? Are you having fun? And he said I'm having the most fun, I'm having the best time. And I said I gotta be honest, when I heard you got this role, I thought it was a terrible idea. And he goes me too. And I remember thinking like wait, the Knight's Tale guy is gonna be...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Handsome, 10 Things I Hate About You.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He was just like this sexy guy.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
But then you go back and you watch 10 Things I Hate About You, watch Brokeback, you watch Monster's Ball. And you're like he was like our Brando, our James Dean. I even said that when I left, I went home to my ex, I said something to the effect I feel like I just spent a week with James Dean.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Like there's somebody that just, he had two scoops of it, whatever it is.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Yeah.
ED LARSON
I just love him just like full Joker makeup, he was like you know Animal Collective is like unbelievable. It's fucking great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is more Chris Farley show elements.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sure.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm gonna add more.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That was cool.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That was cool that you did that.
ED LARSON
Remember when you...
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So you've worked with some of the hottest names, right?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Hottest.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The hottest names in the biz! Unfortunately I think the worm's eye is gonna need to turn to Dune.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, please. I love how much you love Dune.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Just quick. How was it? Because my brief foray into the world of Dune showed me that a lot of these, I'm gonna go ahead and say young gentlemen, that are into Dune are nuts, right. Like they're nuts about the content. Like when you got, they're like all right, we're gonna do Dune. Because now you've been in a lot of nerd things before you got Dune. So you probably are used to the internet as a whole like handling what you're doing.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sure.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Right? Like how does it feel to step into the role of fucking like Brad Dourif. You're taking over for Brad Dourif who is a-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So intimidating.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's really intimidating.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He is just, when you look at his resume and you think about every magical piece of fricking pixie dust he threw on every film he was in and you look at just the... It's insane.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Chucky! He elevates Child's Play.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He certainly does.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He makes that a movie.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He certainly does.
ED LARSON
Every Deadwood monologue that he has is unbelievable.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He was the best character.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I just saw Earl Brown yesterday, he was also on Deadwood. And I meant to ask him like what was it like seeing some of the Dourif stuff? Because it doesn't matter what it was, the David Lynch stuff, you name it. He is incredible.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I want to work with him. Somebody cast me in something with Brad. And his daughter is a great actor too.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Really good.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
She's cool. Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
She's really good.
ED LARSON
What does she do?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
She's an actor. She was doing Chucky. She was on the new TV series they made about Chucky. Yeah.
ED LARSON
Oh no shit.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
ED LARSON
That's awesome!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He could play your dad.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, that would be so rad, man.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So Dune-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The story about that is really interesting because Denis-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because it's the best character almost in the book. Besides Baron Harkonnen.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a great character. It's a great character.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Denis cast me in Prisoners based on an audition tape but he had recognized me from The Dark Knight and we became fast friends and bonded quickly and he kills me brutally in Prisoners. I mean it's a brutal death.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Then he emails me several years later in a really interesting way at a really critical moment in my life when I was trying to decide between doing a big television series that didn't speak to me at all to make a lot of money or going to make my little indie film All Creatures Here Below. And I was erring on the side of All Creatures and I was getting a lot of flak. That was at the point where I knew I didn't really want to work with agents anymore.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And Denis emailed me and said I killed you in Prisoners, I want to bring you into the year 2049 and kill you in Blade Runner 2049. I was like oh my god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah!
ED LARSON
Yeah!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So then we do Blade Runner 2049 and then he's prepping Dune. And I knew he was making Dune and he'd spoken about Dune as far back as when I first met him. And like that had been his thing, like as a kid that was the thing that just, it was his thing.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He already understands it better.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
He'd lived in it since he was a kid. And he goes all right, I'm ready to kill you again really brutally. And he sent me a piece of concept art that was really beautiful but it was of me but dead, like post poison. My friend Sam-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Pull out shot, when they're closing the door after the poison.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh god, it's so great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Great, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Sam Hudecki, who does all of Denis' concept arts, and he was like working on the worms and doing all that stuff, that was rad. So the news, I don't remember how it like came out or how people responded to it but I don't think I paid much mind to that. I was my own biggest fear. It was just the thought of stepping into the shoes because Brad did such an incredible job with the role in Lynch's Dune.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He drinks the drink, it sets his mind in motion. Which they should have given you that.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I wanted that speech. I really wanted that speech. I had two really big scenes sadly that were cut out of Dune. One is Piter drinking the Sapho juice on the night of the invasion, when we come back to reclaim.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We needed more Harkonnen.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And so what's happening is all of Arrakis, the palace is just being fucking carpet bombed and all of the Atreides are getting slaughtered by the beast. And I'm standing on this like precipice looking out at all of it, just sipping my Sapho. And I've got Thufir Hawat bound-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And like on his knees in front of me. And I got to give this long luscious monologue about playing chess and why I'm always six steps ahead of you and I would have won. And sadly when we were doing reshoots, Denis said to me, he's like David, you were so great, that scene is so beautiful. But it just stopped the pace of this invasion. He's like there's this huge action happening and all of a sudden it stops. So he's like I gotta cut it. And the other thing that got cut which was not in the book, it was a scene that Denis was just playing with just creatively. But I think it would have been really fun, I wish it had made it. Is that he gave me this like torture organ where I'm playing this like torture organ and you can't see who it is that I'm torturing. But then the beast comes up and he's like stop wasting time with all this stupid games that you play! And I'm like you don't understand what I'm doing. Because what it ultimately was that I was doing is I had Yueh's wife.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes, that was the connection.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I am torturing her but with some kind of... But what was so genius-
MARCUS PARKS
Is it like the opposite of the orgasm organ in Barbarella?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The opposite, exactly. The exact opposite. So yeah, man, that was a dream come true. And now part two comes out, I'm gonna go see it next week and I'm dying to-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah, got my tickets.
ED LARSON
Are you gonna shave your eyebrows off for the-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Again. Yeah, I'll do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They're actually held on by magnets.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You actually can't see, it's for ready removal for film.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
These caterpillars? There's no magnets strong enough, man. Imagine, like what is that actor who was in American Beauty that played the guy that's banging Annette Bening? He's the real estate guy. I love that actor.
ED LARSON
Oh yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I don't remember.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I feel like he and I have the most pronounced eyebrows in all of entertainment.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's what pays the money.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Peter Gallagher, thank you.
MARCUS PARKS
Peter Gallagher.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Not to be confused with Gallagher.
ED LARSON
Gallagher Gallagher.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Gallagher Gallagher, it's actually two names. Anything else? Because I want to make sure, because we're gonna get you out of here soon but I can't let you leave-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Don't you dare.
MARCUS PARKS
I mean I do wanna ask you-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Please.
MARCUS PARKS
David Lynch.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Just talk on him.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Okay. So here's the story-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, because you know we're obsessed with him.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I love this story.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I love him.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I love this story.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
We're obsessed with David Lynch, we're obsessed with Twin Peaks.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Twin Peaks is my only fandom.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I know, you should be. If you're not obsessed with Twin Peaks, there's something wrong with you. Okay, so I'd done The Dark Knight, I had a history in the theater and my obsessions with the things that I get obsessed about. And I come to Los Angeles in 2010. I went to New York briefly, met Eve in New York, we moved out to LA in 2010. And I took on this... Because no one would sign me. I was like I've been in a movie! I couldn't get an agent, I couldn't get a manager. I was just going to workshops.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Where you pay $25 or $40 to get to do scenes in front of a casting director usually. And I would wake up every day because I still had enough from the commercials to like keep myself afloat. And I was submitting myself through Actors Access, through all these things.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I put these goals up on like a poster board of stuff I've got to do this week and how do I keep myself motivated? Making a lot of short films with my friend Collin who went on to direct Animals and All Creatures Here Below and is now making all kinds of stuff. But like I had three, I said you got it, goals to me have always worked this way. It's like I have the life goals, then I have the annual goals, and then I have the like what's going on month to month, week to week, and sometimes even day to day, right?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's a great idea.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's just how I run business.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
As a creative trying to make it in a creative business. Because it's like practical, you kind of break it down to a bunch of practical steps. And then what's the big dream?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I would wake up some days and be like there's nothing for me to submit for here, there's nothing good happening here. How am I gonna do it? So if I ever am at a loss, look at those three big life goals and go what can I do today to just get myself closer? Read a book about it? So the three life goals were: one, work with the Muppets.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's still a goal of mine. I saw The Muppet Movie as a kid in the theater and it changed my life. I remember Sweetums running through the screen at the end and thinking he was in the space with us. That's the first song I ever sang on a stage was The Rainbow Connection in kindergarten. Changed my life.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
What a creepy child.
ED LARSON
It totally taught me comic timing.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a brilliant movie.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's a masterpiece. Next to 2001, those are my two. Like if I said this is magic of what movies can do to show my kids. And then James Bond villain.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So that's up there. And then in the middle was to work with David Lynch. That was one of the goals. So every time I'd be looking at the things and going oh, what am I doing? So here's these Actors Access submissions where you, for those listening who don't know what that means, it's just you're an actor and you're paying usually a fee to be able to submit yourself to be considered to possibly get a chance to audition for something that doesn't even probably pay anything.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That's the joy of being an actor. So I saw this breakdown and every time there would come one, I would just do the diligence of going okay, well if there's a casting director quote
unquote "attached", I could at least do the research and see if that person maybe has connections somewhere, has worked on anything. And there was a USC short film, I can't remember what it was about or what the title was but I did the due diligence and I would cross reference things. And I see that the casting director is a woman named Krista Husar, who when I googled her, I saw that she worked for Joanna Ray who was David Lynch's casting director.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is extremely good advice, guys. I want you to remember, if you are trying to make it, this is how you do it, is shit like this.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I go oh my god! And I submit myself for this thing and I get to go audition for it. Now the script that I was sent, I couldn't understand really what I was doing in it and it didn't necessarily connect with me but it was cool, it was a weird, very arty script. So I really prepared the fuck out of it. I mean I came ready and I went in and I gave it all I had and the director was a USC student. This is for a student film By the way, there was no pay, you were gonna get credit and a DVD of the short film.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I did some adjustments and then I thanked Krista and I knew from where I'd gone to the audition, what her office was. So I sent a postcard saying like thank you so much, I'm a massive fan of lynch. So just know how honored I was to get a chance to even show you anything, blah, blah, blah. years, years, years go by. I'm continuing to hone my craft and do work on projects and blah, blah, blah. And in 2016, I was in Chicago doing a short stint on a play and I get a call that I was gonna get an audition for a top secret thing for Showtime. And they wouldn't tell me anything about it. And I went from Quebec to LA and I go to like the deep valley to this office and sign like all these NDAs. And there's all these famous actors coming in and out of this audition room. What's going here?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's like is this where we suck the dick to get into Bohemian Grove?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Speaking of Bohemian Grove, just you wait til Late Night with the Devil!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Late Night! Yeah!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Every time we say it too, we have to say Late Night with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The Devil!
MARCUS PARKS
Trailer is incredible because they find that perfect 70s-
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
That guy's voice is so perfect.
MARCUS PARKS
That perfect 70s and they put the perfect crackle on it.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So I go in this room and there is Joanna Ray in all of her glory, this incredible casting director. And there's a camcorder and a couch. And she sits me down, there's no copy, there's no audition sides. She goes tell us what you did this morning. And I go okay, well I woke up with my kid and we watched The Muppet Show. This is a true story. We watched The Muppet Show, we watched the Alice Cooper and the Vincent Price episodes because I love the spooky stuff and we talked about that a little bit and asked me a couple other questions and then turns off. And I know at this point that that is the process for David Lynch's auditions. He doesn't do scripted sides. He does conversational stuff.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He wants to see you.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
So she ends and she goes that was great. And she goes do you know why you're here? And I go this isn't the David Lynch like Twin Peaks thing, is it? She goes yes, it is. But do you know why you're here? And I was like I don't. And sitting like in the corner is this woman with a little pack of her acting names that she remembers. It's Krista Husar who had been the assistant and who had been at that casting, who remembered me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, that's how it works.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And brought me in for this. I get to go be on set with David.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So they just booked you from that.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
They booked me from that. And it's a really cool role. And we shot-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it's an awesome role. It's great.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I went for my first day, we parked at the Prince Hotel which is this great place in K-town, they have this incredible Korean chicken. If you've never been, you guys got to go to the Prince. It's amazing. I love it. It's the best.
ED LARSON
Okay.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And then we shot at the LA Times building, what was supposed to be offices of the casino, me and Brett Gelman. And then comes Kyle McLaughlin and here's David. And David's like, I mean he is everything I ever, I don't know. He's like a messiah to me. He's such a hero, such a guru.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And I get to go introduce myself. I'm super nervous, as typical me. And we start working together and I'm watching him and I'm like this is... Everything that you could dream. This is what the experience was like for me. It's like imagine if Dorothy, like Toto runs over and yanks on the curtain at the Wizard of Oz. And you go and you pull the curtain back but instead of some janky dude pulling a bunch of levers and nodules, it's even more magical than what I saw with that big green head!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because I heard he's like funny and light.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Funny, light, warm, open. Totally knows exactly what he... This was a 700 and something page script that we were, he didn't shoot it like episodes of a TV show. He shot a 760-some page movie that he was then gonna cut later into episodes of a TV show. So he would say something like-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He's insane.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Someone would have a question and he'd be like well that's because in the scene that blah, blah, blah, we're going back to this page. And he knew everybody's lines, he knew exactly what he needed in every moment.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
God.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And you watch him work with someone like Kyle and he's like okay Kyle, in this moment, you're going to put your hands on the table and slowly rise to face one another. And you follow him, you just do it because he knows exactly what he needs and watching the way their dynamic work together.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's like evil Wes Anderson.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And David, he still smokes and he was carrying always an ashtray and I think by rules of whatever location we were at, had to carry a little fire extinguisher around with him. And he would say instead of once more, they always go like once more... What do they say?
MARCUS PARKS
For safety.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
For safety or...
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
For safety. Yeah. Instead of that, he'd go okay, once more for security! And at one point he went up to the roof, and we had this PA who was so sweet, helping get me like sodas and blah, blah, blah, just like a guy being a helper, working so hard. I was watching this guy run around and bust his ass all day. And I saw David sneaking up to the roof to have a cigarette. And I was like oh could I have a cigarette? And he's like oh yeah, you have to go up to the roof. And I go up there and there's David standing there like staring out at the city of Los Angeles, like puffing on his cigarette. And I'm staying with this kid, not a kid, he's in his 20s. And he said, just making conversation, he's so nice. And he said do you have a family? I said yeah. He said you have kids? I go yeah, I've got a son named Arlo. And he turns, he goes hey, dad! And I realize this is David's son who is this filmmaker in his own right who is just busting ass and helping out for the day.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And he goes, he's got a kid named Arlo. Oh that's a wonderful name. What is that from? Um And I say the story of Arlo's name. He comes to me and he goes you know Monsanto, I think they may have been responsible for the tainted spinach at the Chipotle restaurants. And I go huh?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And he goes on this like... He's in a thought about Monsanto and about GMOs and about all this stuff.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You're just sitting there like yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And this is the last, I gotta tell you guys, it's so good. So then we went to the Morongo Casino out in the desert.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Oh that's where that was shot?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And we lived there together. We all lived in the hotel. And then for lunch we'd have the buffet together. And we're shooting at one point and he's sitting at monitor five feet away from me and I'm over his shoulder just staring at him. And in my brain I thought, okay man, I know you got power. If you can hear me right now, give me a sign. Give me a sign, David, please. Give me a sign, give me a sign. And I just sat and I waited and I waited. And all of a sudden, I swear on all that I know, he just smiles at me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He just smiles at you?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, he smiled at me. I was like he's magic, he's magic.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He's plugged in. He's deeply plugged in.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
We all should be. His work with meditation and the subconscious and getting into who we are and being present-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Do you do TM?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
I don't do TM, I've begun a meditation journey though. My friend Steve Agee does TM and he would like, I think I might try it. But what I'm getting out of-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
My wife, Natalie, does TM.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Meditation right now has been immensely helpful for me in working on just a lot of the stuff that I'm kinda going through and working through psychologically and therapy stuff.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's really helpful.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You ever do autoerotic asphyxiation?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Well there's another David-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because that really centers me, yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
David Carradine. I was always afraid of participating in that activity because I'm not a guy to say no to anything. I was just like there's that terrifying reality that you're gonna be performing an interview with the police and they're like she said please choke me.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
She begged me to choke her!
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Now you're in an SVU episode.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. Uh-huh, okay hands behind your back, sir.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm an actor!
MARCUS PARKS
Yup. We've got an actor, here.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh they know. They're the first ones to call TMZ, are you kidding me? They get a tip fee for that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. That's why I always put a plastic bag over my head before we begin, just to kind of put me in the head set.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Smart.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
In the mindset of doing the show.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oxygen is everything.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I am so happy, this has been awesome.
MARCUS PARKS
It's been great. Thank you so much for coming out.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Oh I want to keep doing it again. I wanna-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Thank you for letting us ask all the corny questions we can't ask you like when we're just hanging out.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And last time it was pretty fun, you guys. We had a great response to the goth... Leah and I getting to talk about our comic book and all that nerdness was so fun. But I was sad that we couldn't talk about all the other stuff, like the Dune of it all or the other movies of it all.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
And because I know they're listening, a big shout out and thanks to Eve and Karen for always turning me onto you guys. And now I'm so turned on.
MARCUS PARKS
Aw, thank you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So Late Night with the Devil. When is the official premiere date?
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
March 22nd. March 22nd in cinemas near you. Be the first person. Don't scream too loud for Late Night with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's gonna be good, it's gonna freak people out. And we love the devil.
ED LARSON
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
It's fun. It's a fun movie too and the stuff that it draws from and the reality behind it is really disturbing. So it's just right up your alley.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it's awesome.
ED LARSON
I'm excited for the sequel, the Morning Show with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I mean we already have one. Joe Scarborough.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
What's that weekend? It's the Sunday Morning with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. It's like a McLaughlin group.
ED LARSON
Church sucks, right?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Actually this devil guy is making a lot of sense.
MARCUS PARKS
I will say one of the most jarring experiences of me moving to LA is that I like to watch KTLA in the morning for the traffic.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah, sure, sure.
MARCUS PARKS
And then just you showing up on a paisley set in full goth gear talking to Sam.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Yeah. Hollywood, yeah. The Hollywood Minute.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
The Hollywood Minute. No, even better. Forget Jim Lair, what if it was News Hour with the Devil?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
With the devil.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
There's a lot of variations on this now we gotta do.
ED LARSON
Sports Center with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well thank you. Namaste.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
To Catch a Predator with the Devil.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
With the devil!
ED LARSON
Namaste.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
No, thank you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
All right. Hail Satan.
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN
Thank you.
MARCUS PARKS
And hail Gein.
ED LARSON
Hail David!
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, hail David, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Really good work today. Really good work today.
MARCUS PARKS
Really good work.