Black Friday

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BLACK FRIDAY

(We know this scene made you cry)

As soon as Thanksgiving ends, the feverish holiday season is upon us.  Black Friday is a holiday of shopping and sales, so that everyone can do their Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus errands while they’re still off work.  With this rush of shopping comes a lot of chaos.

A common source of injury on Black Friday in the past decade has been mall stampedes.  When faced with 50% off toasters and BOGO free jeans, humans start to resemble that one scene in The Lion King.  18 people have been trampled and severely wounded. one Wal-Mart employee met his doom after being rushed by eager deal-hunters. 

41 people have been pepper sprayed for Black Friday-related reasons in recent history (one perpetrator, who sprayed 20 people, called it an act of “competitive shopping” that helped her snatch up xboxes, wii games, and bratz dolls).  Car crashes attributed to Black Friday post-shopping exhaustion caused 13 major injuries and cost 3 lives.  In the land of the free (and Columbine and Pulse and Vegas), of course 15 people have been shot over things as mundane as prime parking spots.  And the count rounds out with 5 stabbings for good measure.

Here are some headlines from Black Friday, 2017:

“Black Friday Missouri mall shooting leaves teen seriously injured”

“One male shot, one male stabbed at Willowbrook Mall on Black Friday”

“One shot outside Missouri mall, brawls close Alabama shopping center as Black Friday begins”

But I got this great maroon turtleneck and a cute skirt from Madewell, so I’m calling this Black Friday a success!

-Rachel Hsu